I’m not good at creative projects. I can’t sew, paint, sculpt, draw, build or knit. Shoot, my four year old niece gives me a run for me money in front of a coloring book and crayons.

Growing up I hated math and science. Hated them. Like, cried when I had to do homework hated them. I was just so, so, SO bad with numbers and…other smart stuff. I always liked writing and I loved any and all art classes I took – just wasn’t good at it. I think part of it was a patience thing. Why was I going to spend all that time creating something that would just end up on the fridge? And really, my parents were more about putting up good grades than good art (not that I gave them any of that – whoooops). But now that I’m almost 25, and looking back on my childhood (cue dramatic pause), I wonder if the reason why I wasn’t good at artsy stuff was because…um…I couldn’t eat it?

Because lord knows I will spend all day kneading some dough and eating some bread. These are just facts. And the thing about food is that I’ll eat it even if it doesn’t look like a work of art. My creative successes are based off of taste thankyouverymuch.

Projects in the kitchen are my thing. Give me some flour, butter and a bowl and I’ll create something. But sometimes I need to be challenged. I need to do something that is completely out of my comfort zone, and for no other reason than that. Sometimes when things get super crazy in my life I just have to prove to myself that I can do crazy things. This weekend? I made pasta. Crazy-looking pasta.

From scratch.

The whole process was really, really cool. Essentially pasta is just flour and eggs. You hear that, people?! TWO INGREDIENTS. Flour. Eggs.

Sorry vegans.

To be completely honest with you guys, I never cared about the taste of this. It wasn’t about eating a huge bowl of fresh pasta at the end (although that was a plus, duh). It wasn’t even about making something beautiful (the picture below can attest to that). No, this was more about dedicating an afternoon to flour, eggs and my counter. It’s amazing how much you don’t think about when you’re kneading dough for eight minutes.

Okay kids, grab your aprons and clean off your counter. You’re about to make magic.

Handmade Pasta ( inspired by Google, YouTube, various magazine articles, etc) – serves 3

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour + more for dusting

3 extra-large eggs

1/2 t olive oil (optional)

Measure out two cups of flour onto your clean counter. Make a well with your fingers, creating a “flour wall” that is about an inch high. Crack your eggs straight into that well. Drizzle in the oil if using.

Carefully start beating the eggs with a fork, slowly allowing a little flour at a time to fall in and become incorporated. This takes time and patience. Do not think you can speed this up by just dumping all the flour in and going crazy. Patience, my dear friend. As you add more flour in you will start to see it come together like a dough – again, this is going to take a little time and most likely you will freak out and think you’re doing it wrong. I freaked out about twice before I saw the dough magically come together.

When there is no more runny egg left, drop the fork and get those hands to work. Start kneading the dough bringing more flour in as you go. I kept the extra 1/2 cup flour around to incorporate as I saw fit. In the end you want a ball that looks like the first picture above. If your dough looks a little dry, add some water. If it looks a little wet, add some flour. Have fun with it! Continue kneading for 6-8 minutes.

Once you have the dough all kneaded together (it should still be a little tacky, but smooth and elastic) wrap it in plastic wrap and let it sit on the counter for 30 minutes. Go rest your arms because you will need your strength later.

After 30 minutes unwrap the dough and knead a few more times on the counter. Cut dough in half and wrap one piece in plastic while you roll out the other. Making sure you have a large space to work on, dust a little flour on your surface. Begin rolling your dough, flipping and flouring as you go. You need to roll it super, super thin but don’t let it stick to the counter. Once it is thin enough ( you should be able to see your hand, or a magazine cover under it) you’re ready to cut!

I used a pizza roller to make fettuchini sized noodles. As you see in the photos above I don’t have steady hands, so they look all sorts of crazy. Frankly, I loved that. I dusted mine with flour a little before I cooked them and I think it helped them not stick together.

To cook: Bring a large pot of water to boil. Add salt and drop in your pasta – make sure you have a lot of room in the pot. You might have to do two batches – no biggie. Cook for 2 – 3 minutes until al dente.

You, my dear, just made pasta.

I bet you think I just sit around and eat cupcakes, salsa and cookies, huh?

Well you’re wrong. Close, but still wrong. I eat healthy things too sometimes! I’m one of those people who loves food so much it doesn’t matter the calorie count! 50? 500? Whatever. Just get it in my face.

I actually eat quinoa about twice a week because it’s easy to make, I can add whatever I want to it and – most importantly – it makes me feel trendy and hipster-ish. Luckily, I can buy it at my regular grocery store so I don’t have to go to some health food store for it. I don’t really fit in at stores like that. I’m pretty sure a huge sign follows me around saying ” She doesn’t belong here! She ate popcorn and cookies for dinner last night!”

I actually become anxious when I walk into a Whole Foods for this very reason. Yikes.

If you’ve never had quinoa before I really think you’re missing out. It might not look like much, but it’s suuuuuper good for you and will taste like whatever you put into it. I had to get over the texture the first few times I had it, but after that we became friends. Best friends, really. Although I do have one teeny tiny problem with it though. It’s totally not a big deal, but it does kind of irk me.

Quinoa is the most unphotogenic food ever. EVER. I tried, you guys, I really tried. Unfortunately it kind of looks like fancy dog food. But I promise you it does not taste like fancy dog food (because I know what that tastes like?) so I need you guys to trust me on this one. I’ll come back with pretty things later.

Southwestern Quinoa (serves 4)

1 cup dry quinoa

2 cups chicken stock (or vegetable stock, water, etc)

1 t olive oil

1/2 red onion, chopped finely

1/2 red bell pepper, chopped finely

2 garlic cloves, minced

1/4 t dried oregano

1 t ground cumin

1 can black beans, drained and rinsed

1 cup corn (fresh or frozen – thaw if frozen)

salt & pepper to taste

cilantro (optional)

Add quinoa and stock to a medium sized pot. Bring to boil, cover and simmer for 20 minutes or until all the liquid is absorbed. Set aside.

In another (big!) pan, heat the olive oil on medium heat. Add the onions and red pepper and saute until soft, about four minutes. Add the garlic and cook for another 30 seconds. Add oregano and cumin and stir for a minute. If the mixture looks a little dry you can add a little bit more oil. Add in beans and corn and let cook for five minutes, stirring occasionally. Finally, add in quinoa and combine everything together. Season with salt and pepper. Top with chopped cilantro if desired.

Serve! Can be eaten hot or at room temperature.

Does anybody have a margarita?

I need one to go with the million gallons of salsa I made. Whoops.

I mean, who knew three cans of tomatoes would make so.much.salsa. I’m going to go ahead and give you the full recipe in case, you know, you have an army coming over this weekend. But if you’re making this for a normal amount of people (or, um, yourself) I highly recommend halving this recipe. Possibly fourthing. Frankly, I’m just not sure enough chips exist in the world to take care of this salsa.

Am I being dramatic? Kind of. But not really. The salsa that’s been sitting in my fridge desperately waiting to be eaten doesn’t think I’m being dramatic. Either does my stomach, which has now had chips and salsa for dinner the last four days.

I’m really not that picky about my salsa – so I’m not going to sit here and tell you it’s the best salsa in the world. Because, really? I’ll pretty much eat anything on a chip. No lie. I can be kind of a pill about guacamole and hummus, but I find myself enjoying all types of salsa. Chunky, smooth, whatever. As long as it’s sassy and spicy I’m going to like it. What? Salsa can totally be sassy!

This is the type of salsa you would get a restaurant. Not too chunky, no crazy flavors. Just the perfect salsa to enjoy with friends on a Friday night during those happy hours that manage to last until 2 a.m. Happy, happy, happy.

So seriously, who has a margarita?

Homemade salsa (from The Pioneer Woman)

1 28oz can whole tomatoes

2 10oz cans diced tomatoes w/ green chilis

1/2 cup chopped onion

2 garlic gloves, minced

1-2 jalapenos, sliced (depending on how spicy you like your salsa)

1/4 t sugar

1/4 t salt

1/2 t ground cumin

1/2 cup cilantro

Juice from 1/2 a lime

Dump everything into a blender or food processor and blend, blend, blend! I had to do two batches because, again, this makes A TON of salsa. Allow to sit for at least an hour to allow all the flavors to mingle and get delicious. Keep tightly covered in fridge.